Hi my name is Linda and was diagnosed with lung cancer Christmas eve, The surgeon returns to work today so waiting to see if he will operate or not, Worst time of year to be diagnosed when they all go on holidays, hoping for the best.

I am a parent with cancer

Still waiting

My partner died from cancer

My child died from cancer

My partner survived cancer

My child survived cancer

I survived cancer

My partner has cancer

My child has cancer

My Story

Hi all! I’ve been trying to deal with things on my own as I usually do, but this situation is so different and I’m struggling for so many reasons.I am a 47 year old single mum to 2 daughters, 16 &amp; 21 years of age (the 21 yr old lives with me so therefore has had this situation thrust upon her). I have always been fit, healthy fun loving and a hard worker. After having a seizure whilst on holiday with friends in November 2020, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 (incurable) glioblastoma, or GBM (brain cancer). I had the surgery to remove the tumour straight away and now all they can do is give me treatment to try &amp; extend my life expectancy. As you can imagine, I have gone through so many mood swings and thoughts. I just cannot stop thinking about the fact that I’m dying and my poor daughters are dealing with that added stress in their young lives.... just seems so unfair to everyone! It’s probably worse as I don’t have a partner to lean on.Is anyone else feeling so helpless and depressed? I have moments of positivity as well, but it’s getting harder to stay strong for everyone.

Terminal brain cancer - dealing with emotions

Hi my names bec im 36 with 3 beautiful kids. I was diagnoised with stage 1 bowel cancer last yr when i got told i had cancer i just cried to hear the word CANCER was a numbing feeling. I never though it would happen to me but it did i had mixed emotions and was numb to it not knowing what was next but not even what was next for me but for my kids. Will i get to see them go to high school or go from a kid to a adult or see them get married or have kids was all i could really think about.Once i really sat down after all the tears and how i was gunna tell my kids it finally hit that i had the C word and i truely felt numb.So how i prepared for it is quite a blur i guess i just put my big girl pants on and just took one day at a time to understand what was next and what it involved. I had surgery on the 22nd of october 2019 i had a right hemicloctomy surgery went well and the cancer didnt spread so no chemo or radiation so i kinda got lucky for now, i am almost at my 1 yr mark. So what the future holds i dont know but for now im just enjoying life to the fullest and thank that im still here to see my kids grow.

The C Word

Your experience can help us decide our future research focus and help other families. 

Take the UTS Cancer Symptom Trials survey on the most troubling #symptoms for children & young people with cancer:
https://bit.ly/3bGApa4

Caring for a young person with cancer?

Research

Welcome to the CanTeen Connect Parent Forums. Tell us about yourself. :)

Introduce Yourself!

Everyday Life

Hey amazing Parent Connect Community,
Mother's Day is coming up this weekend... and for many people it's a great time to celebrate how mothers, and important maternal and parental figures, have impacted our lives. Including (but not limited to!)... Mums, Stepmums, Foster Mums, Grandmothers, Aunties, Godmothers, Carers, Surrogate Mums, Mentors, and a whole range of amazing, unique, special supportive people. Perhaps this Sunday will be an opportunity to acknowledge these amazing people with love and gratitude – for those people who ‘make your soul blossom’ (in the words of Marcel Proust).
We honour all the amazing mothers here on Connect – who have parented though their own cancer, through that of a partner or family member, who have parented through their child’s cancer. You are wonderful.
 
We also know here at Canteen that Mother's Day can be a rough time; and that sometimes it can feel overwhelming (with media, expectations, conversations...)

Perhaps Mother's Day is tough because...
•	Maybe you, your partner or child is in treatment, and things are really different this year… we’re thinking of you. Perhaps there are creative ways of coming together, of bringing that gratitude and togetherness to the hospital, or bedside (or via facetime/zoom/message threads etc!)… and finding tiny moments to celebrate the important connections you have.

•	Perhaps your family can't be geographically together for many reasons, even due to Covid. We’re thinking of you. It may be hard amongst the ‘noise’ of Mother’s Day to know how to feel, when you can’t control being far-apart. 

•	Your partner, who was a Mum, died from cancer. We're thinking of you. If it feels right, you and your children might like to connect to, and remember, that special person by cooking their favourite meal, going to a place they loved, playing their music, sharing memories with family and friends, maybe even visiting their grave or memorial place. Knowing, as always, that everyone in the family will grieve in their own way – especially on a day like today.

•	You are a mother, and your child died from cancer... We’re thinking of you. The website What’s Your Grief has an open letter from Bereaved Mothers here (http://whatsyourgrief.com/grieving-a-child/), including this paragraph: “Like many things in a grieving mother’s life, Mother’s Day is bittersweet to the nth degree. On the one hand, I feel immense joy because I was blessed with my child and I feel gratitude for every moment I was given with them.  On the other hand, the pain of missing my child – my greatest happiness, my life’s purpose, and my best friend – is intense.” Leaning into those around you in this grief, on this difficult day… and remembering that connection between you and your child continues, today, now. 


Here at Connect we hope you can go gently with your heart if this is a tricky time… reaching out to friends and family for a chat (or equally telling them if you need space); taking a ‘digital break’ from social media etc if that’s healthy for your headspace; doing something you enjoy (a walk, creating something, reading or watching something interesting or fun); and also knowing that you aren’t alone. Post here as a reply; click chat to a counsellor (11am-6pm AEST weekend hours); or chat with our amazing colleagues at Lifeline on 13 11 14, 24/7).


…and lastly, if you know someone who might be having tricky weekend due to Mother’s Day for any of these reasons (or maybe others), it’s a great reason to reach out and help them feel less isolated. Let them know you’re there; you’re there to talk or just be there alongside them if they need; and that you appreciate their place in your life too :)

-Cara (online counsellor)

Mother's Day: sending gratitude, and making room for grief.

We have released&nbsp;a new app to support you through a cancer diagnosis!&nbsp;If you have ever been worried about what questions to ask or remembering&nbsp;all the answers, this app can help.&nbsp;Features&nbsp;of the Cancer? app include:<ul><li>Read question lists developed by other young cancer patients in the &lsquo;Prepare for appointment&rsquo; section (and add your own&nbsp;list)&nbsp;&nbsp;</li><li>Record your next appointment&nbsp;and listen back&nbsp;to answers&nbsp;in your own time&nbsp;&nbsp;</li><li>Use the &lsquo;My team&rsquo; section to keep track of who&rsquo;s who in your treatment team&nbsp;</li></ul>Download the app using the links below:&nbsp;<ul><li><a href="https://apps.apple.com/us/app/id1488397524">iOS</a>&nbsp;</li><li><a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=au.org.canteen.teen.recall">Android</a>&nbsp;</li></ul><div data-oembed="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O68EvWDDCII" data-oembed-type="video" data-oembed-provider="youtube"><iframe width="200" height="113" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/O68EvWDDCII?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>The Cancer? app project is a Cancer Australia&nbsp;Supporting People with Cancer&nbsp;Grant Initiative, funded by the Australian Government.&nbsp;

Use the Cancer? app to help you ask the cancer questions you need answered

Supporting My Child

Once the school is aware of your diagnosis, you can speak with them about the following supports they can tap into to help not only your child, but other students who may also be in a similar position.&nbsp;Recommend programs and resources&nbsp;Depending on the age of your child, tell the school about the programs and resources available from&nbsp;Canteen&nbsp;and Camp Quality.&nbsp;&nbsp;<ul><li>Canteen&nbsp;can deliver a tailored information session to staff or students (depending on your location), covering the impact of cancer and how the school can support the student affected by cancer.&nbsp;Canteen&nbsp;also will send free resources to help friends and classmates better understand what your child is going through and how they can help.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;</li><li>For children in pre-school and primary school <a href="https://www.campquality.org.au/">Camp Quality&rsquo;s</a> free puppet shows explain cancer and treatment effects in their own language and encourage kids to be supportive of a classmate who has a mum, dad, brother or sister impacted by cancer. Schools can book&nbsp;directly&nbsp;or you can contact one of Camp Quality&rsquo;s Family Liaison Coordinators on 1300 665 605 to ask them to contact the school.&nbsp;&nbsp;</li></ul>More advice/support&nbsp;Chat with a&nbsp;Canteen&nbsp;counsellor (1800 835 932) who can give you more advice about how to approach the school and relevant programs/resources.&nbsp;Useful sites/resources&nbsp;Canteen&rsquo;s&nbsp;booklet&nbsp;<a href="https://www.canteen.org.au/resource/cancer-affecting-students/">Cancer affecting your students? We can help you support them</a>&nbsp;details&nbsp;Canteen&rsquo;s&nbsp;programs and services to help schools support students who are affected by cancer.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

How You Can Help School Help Your Child When You Have Cancer

Coping with someone in the family having cancer is really challenging for many children and young people. Generally, with the right advice and support, you can support your child. But children/young people dealing with a parent&rsquo;s cancer are at high risk of psychological distress &ndash; so sometimes they may need professional help.&nbsp;Warning signs&nbsp;As a parent, it can be hard to&nbsp;know what&rsquo;s normal behaviour and what&rsquo;s a warning sign of a potential mental health issue.&nbsp;&nbsp;Sadness and worry are normal reactions&nbsp;for a child or young person&nbsp;when a parent has cancer.&nbsp;Particularly for teenagers, feeling&nbsp;down, tense, angry, anxious or&nbsp;disconnected&nbsp;are all normal emotions.&nbsp;But if these&nbsp;feelings seem overwhelming,&nbsp;persist&nbsp;for a long time and start to get in the way of their daily life,&nbsp;it could be depression or anxiety, and your child may need&nbsp;to talk to a professional.&nbsp;Warning signs that your child/young person may need professional help include any new and persistent changes (lasting more than one or two weeks), like:&nbsp;<ul><li>not enjoying, or not wanting to be involved in,&nbsp;things that they&nbsp;used to enjoy&nbsp;</li><li>not wanting to go to school&nbsp;</li><li>spending a lot of time alone and withdrawing from friends&nbsp;</li><li>changes in&nbsp;hygiene, eating habits,&nbsp;appetite or sleeping patterns&nbsp;</li><li>being easily irritated or angry for no reason&nbsp;&nbsp;</li><li>trouble concentrating or paying attention (e.g. their school grades dropping or&nbsp;performance at Uni/TAFE/work is not as good as it was)&nbsp;</li><li>risky behaviour that they would usually avoid, like taking drugs or drinking too much alcohol&nbsp;</li><li>talking about hurting themselves, wanting to die or suicide.&nbsp;</li></ul>Trust your instincts. You know your child well, so if you&rsquo;re concerned about how they&rsquo;re coping or any changes in behaviour, then it&rsquo;s worth talking to a professional.&nbsp;&nbsp;Where to get help&nbsp;There are many health professionals and organisations you can contact for help if you are concerned about your child&rsquo;s coping or behaviour, including:&nbsp;<ul><li>Your GP&nbsp;or specialist&nbsp;&ndash; may&nbsp;be able to talk to your child, or help you decide whether to consult a psychologist&nbsp;</li><li>Nurses &ndash; may be the most constant contact you have with the treatment centre and are a source of valuable information and support&nbsp;</li><li>Social workers &ndash; talk to patients every day about communication issues and have a wealth of knowledge about services&nbsp;</li><li>Psychologists and counsellors &ndash; can help you with communication and behavioural issues&nbsp;&nbsp;</li><li>School counsellors &ndash; are trained in&nbsp;child development and can be a great&nbsp;source of support and ideas&nbsp;</li><li>Psychiatrists &ndash; will see children with more serious issues (with a referral from your GP).&nbsp;</li></ul>&nbsp;More advice/support&nbsp;&gt;&nbsp;Contact&nbsp;Canteen&nbsp;(1800 ?? or <a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="mailto:support@canteen.org.au">support@canteen.org.au</a>)&nbsp;to talk to&nbsp;one of our counsellors&nbsp;or get recommendations for the right support for your child.&nbsp;&gt;&nbsp;If&nbsp;your child insists nothing is wrong and refuses help, try texting or emailing them a link to&nbsp;Canteen&rsquo;s&nbsp;<a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="https://canteen.org.au/join/">online community</a>&nbsp;where they can talk to other young people who&nbsp;get what they&rsquo;re going through&nbsp;or have a confidential and non-judgemental chat with a&nbsp;Canteen&nbsp;counsellor.&nbsp;Useful sites/resources

Canteen's community for parents whose family life is impacted by cancer