Making Memories When Your Partner Has Cancer
If your partner’s cancer is advanced and the future is uncertain, you may want to maximise your time together and with your family. Focusing on “making memories” can help you make the most of your time together now, and help you and your children cope in the future.
Ideas for making memories:
- Plan a special outing. Ask your partner if they want to visit a special place or if there’s somewhere they’ve always to go. They may have always wanted to go to a football grand final, or the ballet. Or they may want to see someone they’ve lost touch with.
- Maintaining routine in your child’s life, like continuing to go to school, can help them feel secure at this time. But there also might be times when you break the ‘rules’ and keeping them home feels like the right thing to do. You might plan a day when everyone in the family takes the day off school/Uni/work and you go to the beach or an event together.
- Make a memory box.
A memory box is a box (or other container) full of special things belonging to your partner. It can be a way for you and your children to connect to memories of your partner and special times. It could include photos, letters, a DVD of a family event, items of clothing (like a tie or scarf) or jewellery or a favourite perfume or aftershave. Making a memory box can be a sad thing to do, but if you’re able to help your partner it can also be satisfying to create something that will help you and your child connect with memories of them. Your partner might want to write a letter to each of their children, talking about special memories and all the things about them they love.
- Accept offers of help. Now more than ever, ask for help and accept offers of help. It frees up your time and energy for making memories with your partner and family, and also allows friends to feel that they are doing something useful.